I have had a few people tell me lately that I have “the glow.” (I am not bragging, bc usually “the glow” is just sweat dripping off my forehead from trying to wrestle two kids to the van and get where we need to go without missing half the event!)

But I digress… You know what I’m talkin’ about, right? The pregnant lady who looks-all-happy-and-excited-just-oozing-with-baby-emotions-that-can’t-wait-to-talk-names-and-breastfeeding vs bottle feeding-and-sleeping schedules-and-all-the-other-issues-that-I’ll-have-absolutely-no-control-over look. Yeah, that’s not my look. Thanks, but that’s not it. But, that’s why I love being around first time moms. I am sure I was the same way. They are sooooooo excited and should be. But they have no idea what’s about to befall them. Good and well…different.

For me, I think “this glow” really is a facade. Usually I am happy to be wherever we are. Why? I’ll go slowly bc I tend to type fast when I am excited but….THERE ARE OTHER ADULTS THERE! Yippeee!!!! That should make any stay at home mom excited, right?!?!? I don’t have to answer any question with, “Yes, honey” or “Do you understand me?” or “What did you just say to me, young lady?” I mean, I guess I could answer them that way, but they may not talk to me very long and that would only defeat my purpose of being around them, right?

But more seriously, “the glow” hides a certain fear that has been creeping into my thoughts lately. Hey, did you know we’re gonna have a baby? Yeah, that hit me today. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know or anything. Maybe I assumed I was just getting fat and all the movements were gas. lol. Seriously, the reality of a third child overwhelmed me today and I lost it. Literally, I sobbed. I was shaken from my self-centered view of pregnancy to see how it is affecting the rest of the family. I am so ashamed to admit that I forgot that others were dealing with this, too. And unfortunately, two of them have no where near the coping skills that I have as an adult to understand what’s going on.

I don’t know what it’s like to welcome a baby into an immediate family as a child. I was 10 and 12 when my nephews were born and they didn’t live at my house! And here I am expecting my children to feel this rush of excitement as we switch out rooms and make Maddie and Matthew share a room. Take away my “mommy card” because I blew it on this one.

So, Maddie and Matthew, I am sorry. Please forgive me for not really thinking of your feelings, too. I talked about it with others, have expressed my concerns for what I think you may go through after the baby gets here, but never did I stop and think about right now. And Joey, I am sorry, too, for just assuming that you didn’t have anything to worry about. You are such a great husband, dad, and provider that sometimes I forget that you aren’t Superman. And you always remind me to take it to the Lord.
And God, I am so sorry that I have tried to do this on my own. YOU are the one who created this life. YOU are the one who has orchestrated this. I may not understand timing, but YOU make everything perfect in your time. And readers, I am sorry this isn’t a funny post. But, it is necessary.

So, I hope the next time that someone comments on “The Glow” I hope it’s because they see the reflection of the Holy Spirit in my life. And if it is sweat, maybe it will be from running into church, to make sure I am there on time.

Blessings-
Stephanie

In email, the link to this blog was sent to me. I actually like the article. Although the Richmond native author is not a homeschooling parent, nor wishes to be, it is factual and fair. Please visit this and read for yourself.

The article is here.

Welcome to Richmond, race fans! It seems that this early Fall is taking off in the Beninghove household.

First of all, I’ll admit that I have chosen to write this entry tonight, because I am actually lazy and procrastinating grocery list making. Blah. (Guess, it’s pb&j again tomorrow.)

But, because you all are such a wonderful, well receiving audience out there in cyber-land, I have a few things to share with you.

This is a frog. A what?!?!? A frog. A what?? A frog. Oh…a frog. And as loyal readers, you’ll note that I have severe issues with things that are smaller than me with at least twice as many legs. (rocking back and forth saying, “It’s going to be ok, it’s going to be ok.”)

So, now my darling daughter has caught and wanted to keep, a grasshopper, dead worms, and “Toady.” Where does she get this? Oh yeah, my HUSBAND, who encouraged her to catch this thing and bring it to me. (More rocking, this time in a fetal position)

Blech.

Ok, this is just to get my mind back to a happy place.

Now that I am hungry again….

Let’s talk about Matthew. My little man is growing up and well, frankly, he needs to. I probably baby him too much and I will be hurting for that in January. However, this post isn’t about T..H..A..T…
At a family birthday party for my sweeeeeeet little niece this weekend,

there was a conversation had with Joey’s family about how much I hated Matthew’s current “do.”

Because they are extremely helpful and resourceful (!) Aunt Betty (later to her chagrin!) kindly offered to cut Matthew’s hair sometime. So, after the party, I called her, basically invited myself over and completely took up her time and energy for my son. (THANK YOU, AUNT BETTTTTTTY!!!!!) Seriously, the kid looks older and I believe he’s actually happier!

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Doesn’t he look so happy?!?!?! And he looks like a little man. (sniff, sniff) Please forgive his little farmer’s tan. I have made a mental note to expose more of his sunscreened skin to the sun next summer.

People have asked me if I kept the lock of his hair. Seriously? People do this? I don’t keep teeth either. I just can’t stomach it. Ya know, kind of like bugs and frogs.

Hey….I wonder what Maddie’s doing? I bet she’d have no problem with that.

Man, this heat must be frying my brain. lol.

On 8.22.08 Joey and I sauntered into the ultrasound room toting our cowboy hats and spurs waiting for the showdown between Baby Beninghove and the ultrasound technician. In reality it was his iPod thingy and my copy of The Pilgrim’s Progress, but that just sounds so boring. Because I believe in bringing the online community into our personal lives, I’ll share an intimate conversation we had just prior to the appointment. It went something like this:

Me: Uh, you know we still have time to change our minds and find out the gender, right?

Joey: Yeah.

Me: So…do ya wanna?

Joey: No.

Me: Really? Bc think how nice it would be to plan and know and be able to think more specifically about the miracle that is growing inside of me…. (ok, I didn’t say that out loud)
Me: Really? Bc we do. Have time to change our minds.

Joey: I know. Hey, do you want to play paper football on my iPod touch?

Me: grrrrrr

Technician (all smiley and happy): You can come back now.

FOILED AGAIN! {key “foiling villian” music and tossing cape over my head}

So, in we go. Joey is confident in the decision to not find out. Curiosity is killing me and the cat. But, out of respect for my husband and the credibility of our word to everyone who has asked if we are going to find out, we didn’t. Ironically, Mephibosheth (our name for the baby while still in utero) wouldn’t have been cooperative anyway. Ha! How’s that for just desserts?? mmmm…desserts…

So, because I am technologically challenged, (I mean because our scanner isn’t working right now, yeah, that’s it, the scanner!) I took pics of the ultrasound pictures. Gah! So, they aren’t great. BUT you can see a head and a hand trying to put a thumb in to “his/her” mouth.

Sorry for the white glare at the bottom. I also do not know how to turn the flash off of the camera. Someone help me! But I do know my name and my address….somedays that’s all I need… lol

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14 KJV

The technician did make a comment that this baby has a “big ol’ belly” Awww, just like big brother, Matthew.
So, we thank you for your prayers and covet them. This holiday will be a busy and blessed time for the Beninghove family. January 8, 2009 is our due date…we’ll see!!

It just hit me today that it’s already September. Gah!

That’s the only revelation I have. Time sure flies.
Steph

I have to type this out before I forget.

Today we went to a local skating rink that offers homeschool skating on Thursday mornings for a reduced rate. Maddie brought her little Fisher Price skates that attach to her shoes. Up to this point, the only place she has worn them is around our kitchen and in the street in front of our house. Never in the dark. Never around other people–especially “big kids who go fast.”

This is her as we first got there. She was nervous and apprehensive.

This is Matthew. He doesn’t care, except I think he is wondering if this skating is going to interfere with snack time.

She’s watching the kids and before she’s even gotten on the floor, she’s decided she’s not sure about this.

We watch some of them go and I point out to her that there are other kids her age/size and they are taking it slow, holding onto the wall.

At this point, we hit the rink. The owners allow strollers on the rink–way cool and Matthew DUG it!!–so we all go traipsing out there. Of course as we are halfway to our goal point, the high school DJ girl calls reverse skate. Augh! Just when I was getting her used to it, we have to go the other way. Sometimes, she can balk at change-but I have NO idea were she gets that from. [insert sarcasm]

So I bend down, and in a way that only a mother can ask a question that she knows the answer to, I ask, “sweetie, are you having fun skating?”

She says, in only a way a daughter can that completely rips the joy out of the expected answer,

“Skating is NOT my favorite thing.”

She decides to tough it out and actually changes her mind a tad. She sees some of her friends doing it and even the big kids that she looks up to (figuratively and literally) from church come to her aid. My baby girl grows up and faces the giant looking at her squarely in the eyes. She goes around the rink solo.

“No, Mom, I don’t need your help.”

“Ok, hun, but I am going to take 1,000 pictures while you make your first foray into independent skating.” (Yes, I am that mom.)

and a little closer…

I think her hand wasn’t outstretched to grab the wall, but probably my camera. LOL! But she was smiling–genuinely smiling!

Yep, a good ol’ green kooshie ball is her baby. She gently lifts up the hem of her shirt and voila-the baby is born. If only it was that easy.

LOL!
I promise I didn’t even goad her into doing this, but she looks so natural.

84 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

You have to take this. I don’t know how I got an 84, but there it is. I think I probably was too lenient on myself. Maybe I should get Joey to answer the questions and see what he gets for me. hehe.

And when I took the husband questions and answered the qualities that represent him, his score was 149–off the charts! I knew I had an amazing husband!!

Anyway–take the test and post your scores. For fun!!

…I can break them in half” said my completely serious 4 year old on Monday.

With grand plans of having a nature lesson on a first day of school, she completely surprised me. We’re sitting on the driveway and I ask her look under a rock for some insects. Seeing the live worms, she tells me they have to stay underground so they won’t dry out.

Me: Yes, Maddie, that’s right, they live in the dirt.

Maddie: Except for these. They died in the sun.

Me: Yeah, that happens somestimes.

Maddie: Can I pick it up??

(What is her fascination with bugs??? UGHGHGHGHGHG. Remember the “France” post?? It’s #2 and quite a contrast from this one.)

Me: (trying to hide my absolute revolt and disgust gulps down a “yeah, sure.”)

Maddie: (picking up the dead worm and just holding it in her fingers, snaps him in half without a care)
I love dead worms. Because I can break them in half.

Nice. Real nice.

But, this same worm-mongering child is so sweet at night. She so lovingly holds her Zoe doll as she sleeps. I didn’t pose her and that’s what made this all the more special.

And here’s Matthew with his little foot sticking out of the crib. I just couldn’t resist. For the record, he didn’t care about the worms. If he had noticed, he probably would have tried to eat them. *sigh*

YIKES!! Did I say that??!!? And guess who forgot to document the occasion with a picture? (Please refer to Joey’s note on the Mensa post below and all will be clear!)

But, yes. Maddie officially started a hybrid preschool/kindergarten curriculum today. And we succeeded. So, day 1 is down, and however many the Lord provides in the future to go.

We’ve met some resistance with some family and friends over our choice to homeschool. To us, it seems so clear and logical, but I understand how many see it as foreign and unsatisfactory for kids. (Can you say socialization?!?!) But, I won’t go there tonight because those that do homeschool understand where we are coming from. Those that don’t, may never, but I hope they will hear with listening ears when they ask us why we are doing it.

Anyways, God bless you all. The Holy Spirit is being poured out in so many ways in our lives. Each day I hope to love the Lord more and in turn love my family even deeper.

Maddie, Matthew, Mephibosheth ;)–hang on dear ones and we’ll weather this together. I am so thankful for wise women of God who have gone before me and are so eager to share their struggles and successes. You all may want to turn your phones off, because I’ll probably be calling a lot!
G’night–
Stephanie